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Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Hearing & Listening

Listening is an art. It's kinda funny, many people feel they have this particular quality nailed. But in actually, not many of us have learned this  quality or  practice it the way we think we do. Also it is so important most times when we talk to people, we really need them to listen to what we are saying, especially in close relationships. Life has taught me  from personal experience that probably only one person out of ten people  we talk too are actually listening to what we say.  They may be hearing it, but not listening to it.  Do you agree with that? The one comment a person can make to me that tells me that they are not listening is "I heard you. "  That reply tells me first hand hearing only. This applies especially to our spouse ,children, family. Yes, typically to those who need to be not only hearing but  listening.  We are trying to convey our thoughts, feelings and even motives and even teaching. However there are others, outside these circles who fall into the hearing but not really listening category also whom we deal with in our life that really need to be listening.  There are so many other matters of importance we need to deal with in our life.  Yes, our health and welfare. The doctor,we tell them many things, did you ever walk away saying to yourself, "He completely ignored me, or they never heard a word I said!" Down to even going through the drive thru at a fast  food restaurant.  It's something we really need to pay attention too. It's a two way street.  Do we listen when others talk?  Because as I said it can affect our very lives and of those whom we love as well as relationships.  But it's not our fault people don't listen. What can we do to get people,to listen to what we say? There are ways we can get more of a listening ear of most.  I've learned that we cannot talk to anyone if we are angry, they tend to feel the wrath but never listen to whats being said , it's like the anger is a distraction. So we always need to be calm, not that this has worked for me every time, because we all lose our cool sometime. Yep me too. We need their attention, one sure way is to have it is  eye to eye contact with whom ever we are speaking, children spouse, doctor, etc.  We need to speak at a moderate pace. Our voice need to be low or at least match the topic we are discussing.  If a thought to an idea or response is interjected, we need to remain silent until it is complete. Our words need to be the choicest, and tactfully delivered. Never talk to a persons back, or share attention with a T.V. or book etc. your conversation will be less effective. And I guarantee they will never listen to your speech.  Take your leave till a more convenient time.   I always like to share my life learning tips  and reflections with you.  It's been my experience when I practice these tips, I have had my best communication possible with those I've needed.   Hearing  and listening is something we can all improve in. Hope you find these tips helpful!!