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Saturday, November 29, 2014

Doing Nothing!!!

Doing nothing, you say! Over 50 and extraordinary people should never be found doing nothing. Why not? It's not about nothing, it's about being balanced in everything. Doing nothing is not a sin. It's not anything we should feel guilty about. As I reflect back,one of the biggest challenges in life for me has been finding the balance. I really think it impossible as long as we are imperfect people. By now we have worked so long and hard at doing something and we continue to work. If then doing nothing becomes a guilty pleasure, then let us indulge ourselves on a regular basis. I used to feel that as long as I was awake I needed to be being productive. I tried to push this habit on my family. My family would leave the room if they were sitting idle and saw me coming. They knew I was going to find something for them to do. How wrong I was. I have since apologized  to them and now they can at times truly enjoy the pleasure of my company.  Not that being productive most of the time is wrong, its just  about being balanced. To even things out or make equivalent on both sides, and having not to much of something or not to little even in the things we choose to do.  See how difficult finding the balance can be?!?  So when it comes to doing nothing, there is an art to it. We owe it to ourselves to find out how to master it. It may save our life one day. It has to become just as important to us, as caring  for the needs of our children, our family or even our jobs. For everything there is an opposite.  We need to set a regular time for it. When I say doing nothing, I don't necessarily mean absolutely nothing unless that's the nothing you choose for the moment, because that's ok too. But rather, I'm speaking of taking some downtime for yourself and/or your household. Putting yourself in a whole new mental zone or environment.  It may just entail curling up with a good book. It may be popping some popcorn and watching a favored movie.  It may be taking a long hot bath behind a locked door with candles and aromatherapy. Ahhhh!!! Remember to put the "Do Not Disturb sign out". When we stop for a minute and bring our pace to a halt, it refreshes us.  Doing nothing for a time helps us to continue to thrive. It clears our head and we can even make more sound decisions. Over a long period of time we can see and feel the benefits of doing nothing at times.  It's good heart health, it even lowers our blood pressure. It makes relaxing and sleep come a lot easier, in fact it encourages it. It's a stress reliever. Stress is noted to be a killer. Extraordinary people, we have come a long way. In order to continue on this journey having our fullest potential, good balance is needed. Doing nothing from time to time will help us find that balance. So never feel guilty about taking some time off from certain specific duties.  You owe it to yourself. This makes you even better at what it is you do continually. It will help you maintain your joy while having to do it. Something that makes so much sense and  famous quote I'd like to share with you is this: " The whole point of getting things done, Is knowing what to leave undone." There is a time for everything, this includes doing nothing. So develop the art of doing nothing and experience the real pleasure it will bring to you. I have.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Adult Siblings!

Siblings!! People born of the same parents, a brother or sister. The dictionary makes it clear. They are in a class by themselves for good reason.  Most of us have at least one or more. I come from a large family. I have lots of sisters, we could of had our own baseball team with a few extras. My parents were blessed with only one son. The youngest after having given birth to  a dozen females. His birth was classified nearly a holiday.  When I reflect back on what they were like as  youngsters, I'm not sure if I liked them better then or now. Don't get me wrong, I love them all.  But, they can be a piece of work sometimes. Sibling rivalry is something I'm all to familiar with. After all, I got a lot of siblings to rival with. I remember saying too many times to my parents : "Why wasn't I an only child?" I was trying to recall if they had changed much from being children into adults. And if they were any easier to get along with, the choices they have made as adults and other things. I did a lot of reflecting on our relationships now,their present needs, the needs of those associated with them and on and on. Most of us now are over 50 and extraordinary with an exception of a few. My findings are they are no easier to get along with now then they were at age ten. These are still the same people with the same personalities.  Some easy , some not so easy. I also found that some of their needs had not even changed. That's something, because it means that those who needed a bottle then, still need a bottle now in a figure of speech. Some are still so needy. Some want to be bosses over us. They expect us to give them what they demand or ask. And that some of them have made some pretty bad choices in their life in my opinion. But given the circumstances they had, perhaps I would have made those same choices(I doubt it) but possibly.  I had to remind myself that these people are my siblings, not my children. I'm not responsible for them or their choices.  I don't have to please them. My job is to get along with them as best I can. To help them out in their hour of need. To love and support and encourage them. To look for the best in them and to be forgiving.  I found out that sometimes adult siblings lose sight of the position we play in each other's lives. Our job is to give advice if asked and not to take offense if it is not accepted. This has been hard for me to do. Our siblings are like our children, we want the best for them. It's hard to stand by and watch them make decisions contrary the ones we would make. But it's still not our job to intervene. These are adult lives, things have changed greatly since we were kids. I think the main thing our adult siblings want from us is respect. They don't want us to judge them. They may shy away from us. We individually have the right to run our lives in the way we choose, not someone else. They have come a long way and have  changed from being a kid sister or kid brother. When you become extraordinary, you see and understand these things a lot clearer. After much pondering takes place.  It's funny how life teaches you things in time. Sometimes it take's a lot of time. My wonderful Mother used to say" what I cant teach you life will". No truer statement ever expressed. We were blessed to have a teaching mom. She constantly taught and told us the things we should say and do. If I could walk just a half a mile in her shoes, I'll be a great lady. So my over 50 and extraordinary friends, if you have siblings, hope and pray for the best, don't judge them. Stay close because they are a blessing to have around. Some thing I had to remember is that you cant raise grown people. And since we are all imperfect, we cant sit on a judgement seat. By now sibling rivalry should be gone and we should be at peace with one another.  The best things in life are not things, but rather it's the people in life we know and love. The two things we owe our siblings is love and respect. If we do this, their will be no rivalry!!!

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Staying Motivated

Motivation, a strong word. I was thinking about this word the other day. It was the end of the day and I had only done half the things I wanted to do. I still desired to do yet more. I wasn't even as exhausted from the day's activities. I just had no drive to continue. In me I felt what I thought  was a strong will to act. Isn't that what motivation means? Move to action, or encourage, or stimulate, whatever! I thought I was motivated because I strongly desired to get these things accomplished. By now in our life we have done so much between raising kids, working a job still, taking care of house and home and other peoples needs till we have become exasperated and  downhearted. And just the thought of going through the motions of doing certain things we have done forever is now too much
 to consider. Like cooking a meal.  I learned quickly that there is a thin line between having a strong desire to do a task and being motivated to do it.  Have you ever felt that way?  Being motivated takes more than just having a strong desire. It takes real action on our part and  self discipline. Discipline is remembering what we want.  It also takes real earnest effort, because it's so easy to say mentally to just forget it and we put it off. That doesn't mean our desire to have it accomplished changes. This makes us sad or it makes me sad. When we are not motivated to get things done, it's kinda like a mental illness. It affects us through and through. You can even sometimes feel it physically. It's our mind we need to get motivated for us to will and to act. Although balance is needed as in everything, It's so important to keep moving and being active. We need to be effective people. How or what helps us to remain effective people?!  I once went to see a motivational speaker, actually I saw a few in my life time. Zig Ziggler was one of my favorite, cute and extremely witty and  over fifty and extraordinary.  I have  forgotten some of the things He said that day. But whatever it was it worked. I remember coming home and being so fired up and enthused for a time. He had already reached over fifty and extraordinary and Zig found it no harder to laugh after fifty then he did  before. Exuberant  and  Extraordinary Zig was. It was Zig  who made me take a closer look at this profession of motivation  in a very positive light. He was so refreshing.  He stated the age old phrase: "Don't put off for  tomorrow what you can do today!!" The number of hours  in a day has not changed. It's life and circumstances that slows us down naturally. It can burn us out if we allow it. Some times we all need a little boost to get us going.  Choosing a strong mentor in the motivational field will help us. There's is still too much ahead of us.  Staying motivated is essential to our mental and emotional well being. We need to recognize that there are just some things we cant do on our own, no matter how good it is for us to do it.  Zig Ziggler is a fine choice as a mentor, He was for decades known as number one in America when it came to motivation. Check him out and there are others as well when you feel you could use a boost. Everyone needs a little recharging now and then, even extraordinary people like you and me.  This short video is featuring Zig, I want to share it with my Over fifty and extraordinary friends.  It's for your pleasure once again, I hope you enjoy it!

Friday, November 21, 2014

Extraordinary in Sickness and Health !!

In sickness and in health. I know that's a phrase everyone is all so familiar with. But I'm not talking about the cliche that goes along with the marital vow. But rather literally when we as extraordinary people have to deal with a health issue.  This is something that causes a great deal of anxiety.  As we reach fifty and over, it seems that declining health is in the horizon and that a new bodily pain occurs every day. We start saying to our selves, "ohh,  owie, what's that!!!" Then we start seeing two guy's. Arthur Ritis and Bur Sitis. And before you know it, shortly after the introduction we start sleeping with them. Yes, because of Arthur Ritis, and Bur Sitis ,we need a new friend Ben Gay. If it were not for Ben Gay, Arthur Ritis and Bur Sitis would be impossible to deal with together.  Now we have  become a dynamic trio. But, if it was just the two of them, it wouldn't be so bad.  I'm just here making light of something that causes adversity and to laugh in it's face. Because if we don't , we may cry instead. But if we are to be extraordinary in sickness, we need to do just that. In time other things may come up. Some very serious or even life threatening. Just thinking about these possibilities can cause us a degree of stress.  How do we cope? What should be our mind set on the subject? I have a dear friend who is now coping with such an issue. And I mean truly coping.  A very extraordinary individual. When I spend time with her, if I just didn't know of  her particular situation, I would not be able to tell. Our friendship and care for each other has not changed.  I see a strength in Her that I never saw before. She never complains and because of our close friendship, She spends more time in talking with me about my own issues, which are so much more less significant than her own and asking about others. I really admire her for this, although I cant understand how she does it. She has her good days and bad days. Of which I have to ask her what kind of day is she having?  She responds, "Everyday is a good day".  I've noticed how positive she has become or perhaps has always been, but I have never noticed as profoundly as I have now.  She sees the glass as half full.  She greets me  as she always have, with a hug and a smile. I know we can never really know how we would be under similar circumstances. But it seems keeping a positive attitude about life and others is good therapy. We need to develop the habit of being positive now. I've also  learned if we keep thinking about others, we don't have time to pity our self. If we cant move, physically, then we need to keep moving mentally. Movement is life.  She has become a great role model. She has taught me that we can never become stagnant. If we do, we are giving in to whatever it is.  This would be a great downfall. It's been said that life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it. We need to recognize that what happens is such a little part of our life. Really! If we are to be extraordinary in both sickness and health, then this is the attitude we need acquire.  Her example has shown me that no matter what side of the coin we are dealing with we can still cope. It is possible. We can deal successfully with it. Our mind set should never change. Extraordinary people are mentally strong and very positive. We have a strong support team, each other. So be extraordinary in sickness and in health has nothing to do with a wedding vow. But has everything to do with being ready, willing and able to accept and face with bold courage the challenges that comes as we continue to grow graciously in mind and spirit. You are all in my heart and mind! I'm so blessed to have her as a friend. I hope she read's this blog. And my dear friend if your are reading this blog, I just want you to know that you are the wind beneath my wings and  truly my SHE-RO !!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Maintaining Self Esteem !

Self esteem. Something so vital to our very existence. Even more so now that we have become extraordinary. This is something we need to maintain in high quality. We now have a role in boosting it in others  especially our young who will one day become over fifty and extraordinary.  Yes, that's right our job is ongoing. We have to infuse this strong mental power in others. In whomever our lives continue to touch. This blog goes along with my blog on loving thy self. With the proper measure of it , we can move figurative mountains. With too little of it, it can rob us of our very life. It can take away our joy without us not really knowing its the culprit. Its invisible, but it manifests itself in our outward attitude. This like many other things is a mind set. We have to believe first in our self and that we can and we are important. We are the same person we have always been just older and wiser. Even so, many today lack this important quality. Where does it come from? And how do we acquire it? Its one of those things that starts at home. It's been fed to us from our environment and the people who have shared it with us. From our closest associates whose influence have had the greatest impact on our life. Our parents, friends and relatives.  Do we need more of it? I remember times in my life when I had a great deal of it and then there were times when not nearly enough of it were present. Well I've learned the good thing about self esteem is that it can be lifted up. It can grow at any stage of life. Not only in self , but we can be instrumental in helping it to grow in others. This is part of our role as mentor's and  role model's. We help contribute to building a strong happy healthy mental society.  A society of which we are now the leaders. To gain more we all have to change our thinking. It's been said if you change your thinking you change your life. Sometimes it will take constant mental adjustment's in many areas. It doesn't matter if it's something we never had enough of yesterday.  Tomorrow we can be on our way to having plenty. Let's keep it in big supply. We need too. How? By thinking positive of self and others, giving praise and commendation and encouraging others. I guess my pondering this thought, it taught me that in the game of life the rules never change and never really will. It's always been the way we play the game. What will change is the quality of life we give our self when we play hard and correct. And by playing fair and square to our self and then to others. Playing fair in this way will naturally boost our self esteem and keep it there. Now is not the time to let our self esteem diminish. Have a wonderful day my over fifty and extraordinary people!! You really are SUPER!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Talking

Talking, just like listening is an art. Either we do it really well or we are just so so. That would include talking to our inner self as well as to others. Talking is not always easy. Putting our feelings and ideas into to words remains still quite a task.  Even for us extraordinary people. And  if we are not so challenged our self in  this area, then there is just getting the other party with whom we are trying to converse to hold up their end of the  conversation.  I've learned finally at my age that it is so vitally important to learn how to talk. It is something we will have to do for the rest of our lives. What kind of conversation will we be having? Will we build up,or will we tear down?  What will be our topics? Some things should never be talked about with  certain people. Therefore we should be wary of gossiping or even listening to gossip. It actually in my opinion show us  to be weak individuals. When learning an art, it  is something we want to do well.  We want our influence to be positive on others. I have seen the effect of catty remarks, they are not good. So much these past decades have taught me.  My biggest challenge is learning how to use the things I've learned in a way that will make me the role model I would like to be. I'd like to encourage all the extraordinary people to do the same. Verbal jabs could knockout any relationship worth keeping. Its been said that our speech could stab like a sword. But it has also been said that when a person can talk to us  to the point of feeling understood by us, its equivalent to giving them air.  That's a profound statement. It's actually saying that we kill a person figuratively when they don't feel understood by us, it's like cutting off their air supply. This is not something that we would intentionally do.  We all know how our speech should up build rather than tear down.   Let's remind ourselves that we have all learned this art of talking.  Applying the  things we have learned about this art is what makes us extraordinary. We know there is no need to learn it the hard way anymore.  Winning in a verbal conflict is never important.  Our goal is to be understood by others and to understand them. The bible says" as an apple in gold carvings, so it  the word spoken at the right time." In this way we wont hurt feelings and destroy the very relationships we want  to hold dear to us. So to learn the art of talking, the art of listening must come first.  Sometimes we learn this a little late in life. Sometimes it takes decades. The point is its never to late to learn something new. After all better late than never. Especially if its something that could benefit us going forward. Just something I had been reflecting on I wanted to share with you. Hope you agree, share your opinion. I'd love to hear it.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Encouragement & Praise


Encouragement and Praise go hand in hand. When we give others praise they are encouraged by it. Encouragement is something we all need a little bit more of. But also something we as extraordinary people can impart to others. We can and should take the lead in doing so. At our stage in life now, we have learned how important this is. We have either had the right amount of encouragement we needed or we have suffered the lack of it. When we encourage, it stimulates others to work harder in their personal efforts. It also boost the moral of the ones closest to us. It will  improve our relationships. It will let others know we approve of them. And approval is something that is needed by others to help them thrive. With all the things lacking in the world today, giving encouragement or commendation to others  is among one of the greatest.  Recently, I heard of  a person of authority on a job just rip up one of its hard working employees in the present of others employees for no valid reason. I felt more sorry for the person of authority than did the one he ripped apart. And so did he. A person who cant give encouragement but rather discourages is one who is probably starving for encouragement himself.  And as the saying goes misery loves company. When we find our selves making others miserable or rather discouraging rather than encouraging we are not treating others the way we want to be treated. Life is gonna deal us some bad hands sometimes anyway. But when things are going okay, lets keep a positive word in our heart for others. And when we find ourselves in need for encouragement, that kind word will be returned to us. None of us are perfect, but its true some of us just try harder. We need to give people the praise they deserve, some work really hard for it. And the benefit is when given they will work even harder. A little praise goes a long way. It changes attitudes. If we want to live out out days with as little stress as possible we need to be encouraging. Lets try an experiment . For the next 90 days, offer a word of encouragement to one or more persons daily.  At least one.  By the end of the 90  days, lets re-examine our relations, our mentality and see just how much it has improved. By then encouraging others will have become a habit. The positive things we say to others will be fed to us as well. So by giving it , we will get it right back. We are encouraging, that's one of the things that makes us extraordinary!!!! Try it for ninety days and share how it has changed your life!!!!

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Careers

I have found reading about some of  the great careers of both men and women to be very interesting.  Some have chosen very noteworthy ones and as a result have become career diplomats. By the time we have reached the age of the extraordinary, we have been following a course of a certain occupation quite some time. Our careers have even expanded over decades now. But looking back, kinda reflecting on the time and energy put in it.  Do we have any regrets? What did we give up to there? How great were out sacrifices? Did we do what we really loved?  Often time, we as woman juggle two careers. Both very demanding. That's the raising of the family and the job at the same time. Yes, the home front, a steady occupation in itself. Today many woman have to work outside the home, just to help make ends meet. Its a challenge, but usually successfully met.  If we had to do it all over again, would we? These are personal questions we each as individuals have to ask ourselves. Careers are and can be wonderful things. I think they define us in some way. They give us a sense of importance. And when we read about the great careers of both men and women, sometimes they are to be envied. Certainly although, I do believe that any career chosen, family life or outside occupation has its perks. If we self examine and end up with positive answers to the questions, then we have done well. I feel learning to live life with as few regrets as possible to be very satisfying. The thing about life is you don't get to do it over again.  Its a work in constant progress then we die. We've made some mistakes along the way and will to a certain extent continue to do so. That's not so bad, we are only human. And yesterday's gone, we managed to get through it. So whether we have regrets or not, we can move forward. We have a wisdom now like never before. Even if we have never chosen an outside career, and we wished we had done so, why not now? No better time than the present if our circumstances permit. There is nothing to fear but fear itself.  I believe over fifty is the perfect age.  Most likely our children are grown. Our focus would not have to be divided. Its all a state of mind. Its been said" If your mind can conceive it, then you can achieve it". IF that is your desire. The point is no matter what we have done with our life or not done today, it makes no difference. Yesterday's gone. Its going forward, what will we do tomorrow? It may be the start of a new career or something else. We want to be here tomorrow. We want to continue living and pursuing the beauty of an extraordinary life.  How sweet it is !!!

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Adult Children

Who are these guys?!?! No, who do they think they are?!  And why do they keep calling me Mom?! If so, what happen to the beautiful little loving and adorable creatures they once were?!  Oh, bring back my yesterday, somebody pleeze!  Once our children become adults these are questions we cant help but ask ourselves. Oh they think they have a new role, called parents to us. We need to keep reminding them that at the time of our birth, they were not present. Parenthood, first time, a joy such as never before. I remember  being told its a whole new level of love. It will change your life. No truer words has ever been spoken.  It has changed my life and I think its still trying. Our adult children, in spite of the transitions we have watched them through, they still mean the world to us. When we reflect back to the day they were bought home from the hospital, brand new, so needy, so tiny, it seemed as though they would be babies forever. We even hoped they would. Those sleepless nights seemed unending.  But we were determined to meet every demand no matter the cost physically, mentally and emotionally we had to bear as parents. Nothing was more important than that child.  And we did, we loved and nurtured and we sacrificed, we taught and we trained and we supported, we waited patiently for everything we needed back for years and years until they one day became these adult people or even young parents themselves. We even  made them marketable subjects to society. After all this, they still  think we still owe them something. WHO ARE THESE GUYS?? Oh let me get a grip!! I know, I know, precious they still are and they will remain the loves of our lives forever. But I got a question, the same question they use to ask us over and over again: Are we there yet?!? Aren't we done?  There is a reality check in order due here.  They need to be put in their place, not as babes, but as the mature adults they have become.  We need to enjoy them as adults , the same way we did as infants or children. Of course we need to respect them as adults and not treat them like children or try to run or control their lives. It works both ways.  But I feel there is only one way to do this.  They need to be informed affirmatively. What we owe them when they were minors, we no longer owe them as adults.  If they are to grow into extraordinary people, we need to be solid role models or mentors. We need to be firm in insisting on them accepting their new roles or obligations. We can't let them make us feel like their responsibility is ours. Its not. We need to get back the love we had at first when we first met them as infants. Its possible, after all , they are the fruit of our loins!!!!

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Love Thy Self

I remember  being taught as a little child by my mother who always said," Everything starts at home and then spreads abroad". At first I didn't understand this statement, it took me a while. She was trying to teach me and my siblings that  the most important things needed to be practiced at home among each other and than we would spread the goodness to others beyond our household. I often think of that statement when it comes to being kind to yourself.  Does not the golden rule say," Do unto to others as you would like others to do unto you. YOU are the primary person of that phrase. We all want to be treated with kindness and consideration, but reflecting back so many times, we lose sight of  our self. We are sure to show kindness to others but fail to love thy self. I'm not saying that we should not be self sacrificing and put others needs in front of our own. There are times when this is necessary but certainly not all. But in order to love other people really well we need to love thy self first. Just because we have grown into extraordinary people over fifty our needs have not changed. Is passion only for the young? Not by long shot. By loving our self we assure that we will get the things needed most for us as individuals. Whether  that be the putting our self first and making others wait. Indulging our self in some type of luxurious treatment. Taking that day off when you have the time and been wanting to.  Not holding back when we know we are deserving. I've learned as well as noticed that others will love us only as much as we love ourselves.  Its kinda like self respect, we need to show respect for self then others will be prompted to do the same. A boss will respect us more when we show we are not gonna allow our self to be treated unfairly.  By the way we speak up for  ourselves  to the way we enter into a room will determine the way others treat us and respect our needs and desires. When we love thy self , we show we are worthy to have the things we deserve. And  others are quick to give it to us. But when we don't, then the natural tendency is to allow others to short change us and they will, especially the ones closest to our hearts.  When we have self love we wont allow others to take advantage of us.  Life has taught me that we only gain the love and respect of others when we show love and respect our self. Yes!!Love Thy Self !! Everything starts with us. We say I am somebody by doing so.  It keeps our self esteem in  the right place. And when we love our self we wont go unnoticed. Every one will see.  And the happier we will be for doing so!!!

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Transitions

Changes, everything changes. Change is good. And acceptance of the things that change is healthy for us.  That's what keeps life and the world so interesting. But once we are over fifty and beyond, the word itself changes and now the new word for changes is Transitions.  It takes on a whole new meaning for us, because now we may be touched personally by it due to a new or changing circumstance in our life.  Any new life event, from a change of life birth baby to death of a spouse. We may need to leave things that were once very comfortable  and secure for us. It may be our job, our home our life style. Even more profound living without a loved one. Suddenly change becomes very frightening for some. I've seen many go through different transitional periods. Some handled it well, others not so well. Now that I'm over 50  I have found that mental preparedness is a real good thing. Especially for the inevitable. These kind of transitions, no matter what are not easy. There are all kinds of  advice and self help books for these transitions.  But as most things in life, a lot easier said than done. I feel now is the time where human compassion really need to be put into play. Others need to be good listeners. Having a confidante helps. No matter what the transitions is when we have someone to talk to about it makes it a little easier.  We need to tell people what we need and not have them tell us.  My mother used to say a closed mouth never gets fed. And people can't read our mind. For sure we are all going to face them, I think this becomes a realization when we become one of the extraordinary people. Because now we know we have reached a plateau in life and we most likely wont live as long as we have already.  The truth is we have been transitioning every single day of our lives. With changes that we have openly welcomed, but now the new changes we experience  at this stage of our lives are met with fear and challenges.  Life changes take place everyday no matter what.  Having a strong sound mind could be of great benefit to us if we give it a little forethought. Transitions shouldn't frighten us today no more than they did twenty years ago. But they might. We have to remain mentally strong and self confident that come what may, we can and  will be successful at coping with it.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

On Marriage !!

Marriage, can be a wonderful thing. Two becoming one. Till death do you part.  Although there have been many challenges. I love the state of being married.  Not all can  say that. Because for many, once we find ourselves over fifty we have have experienced a lot of changes in this department. Perhaps we have been divorced or separated. Experienced more than one marriage, widowed or presently married. This is the biggest commitment in our life. And should always remain that. I believe everyone goes into it with the best intentions.  Hoping and wishing all their fairy tale dreams will come true. What does it really mean to become one?!  Looking back on the experiences that have been fed into my life and watching things others have experienced, is that some don't take their  vows seriously enough. To be one with anything means to be in the same line of thought and agreement. That's what makes us one. This is a challenge and can be quite difficult to do being that backgrounds and cultures differ. The way we are raised and the things we are taught to believe. This grand commitment it  is not fully realized. So as a result marriages end in divorce.  Inspite of the circumstances that separate the two. Its an inborn desire of  most to want to belong to another or have someone to share their life with. This is because in the beginning, it was said by the originator of marriage: "It is not good for man to continue alone, I am going to make a helper for him, to complete him".  Or  compliment him. We compliment our mates.  So now we are over fifty, we find ourselves alone and to remarry or stay single is the question. Perhaps we have made mistakes in this area in the past.  But mistakes is just hard evidence that we did try. Hind sight is 20/20. We cant believe that since it failed once, it will happen again. Whomever we choose to marry again, we cant go into it with the idea, if it don't work out we will just get a divorce. We are now older and wiser. Our choices are now built on stronger foundations. We have come to learn what it means to be fully committed to someone.  For better or for worse! Lets explore that phrase, it means your life and everything in it may become better as a result of marrying this person or it may become worse. That's what we agree too. We hope for the best. And we cope with the worse. That's it. Studies have found that married people live longer. Their lives have richer meaning. So as an extraordinary person and you have the chance to begin again, take that chance. Why not???   Companionship is good for our souls. We are never to old for anything.  We gotta learn to live life like we have never been hurt. Yesterday is past, tomorrow is the future, today is a gift, that's why they call it the present!!! Everyday is a new beginning for all of us!!  We should never stop living life to the fullest, no matter what circumstances we find  ourselves in.  It is a personal choice and it should be respected. But I do believe it is something that will bring all of us a great deal of happiness for the right reasons.  Living life to the full will keep us extraordinary people strong!!!!  Let me know my over 50's, what's your view of marriage after fifty!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Friendship

Friendship, a very close relationship in support of another person. A wonderful thing. I think it could almost be called a marriage of sorts. They really should last till death do friends part.  But like marriages they break up. The closest friends makes the worst enemies, so they say. But why is that? What is it about the bond of friendship that once its broken can be very volatile ?  Probably the fact that when we are close, we share everything. Our dying secrets. All the pinkie swears. Completely exposing our self to them.Things we would not dare share with the world. Now that the friendship has ended we feel so violated.We cant take back the things they know about us our families or the things we have done in support of them. Now we are angry. Its like love and hate, a very thin line. An extraordinary person I once knew told me that friends were harder to gain the older you got. I don't know if I agree with her, but there may be a measure of truth in that statement. But I would think the older we got, we would be a lot wiser when it came to choosing our friends. When we were young and we first began to make friends, our friends meant the world to us. It never occurred to us that they would or could  one day hurt us. But when they did, remember how crushed and betrayed we felt?! arghhh!! I remember it well. But as we matured and grew older we soon learned that everyone calling himself a friend is not necessarily a friend. So as a result we lose many along the way. But a bible proverb says, there is one friend that will stick closer than a brother. Fortunately, I still have a friend I have been close to for nearly fifty years. She is the funniest thing. She makes me laugh today the same way she made me laugh nearly fifty years ago as lil kids. I cherish that friendship because it has stood the test of time. A friendship like that is very rare. The same as a marriage today lasting fifty years or more a rare thing. But both truly are blessings. Friends, how many of us have them?? Friends we can really depend on, ol faithful ones as they say. Whats makes a good friend? Certainly not a computer click. A true friend is someone we spend time with. One who we can talk to confidentially as well as honestly. Someone we show genuine care for and who we treat the way we want to be treated. They should be people of all ages and backgrounds. And since nobody's perfect, we all need to be forgiving. So I think a good friend can be made anytime in life, no matter how old or young we are. We just need to extend our circles at the same time being selective in our choosing. Can we be friends?! Please post a comment if we can be friends.  I'd love to become friends!!!

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

On Getting Older !!

I am a day older today then I was yesterday.  So What does that matter ? Actually, I am very happy to be able to say that. And if I add 364 more days to today I will be exactly one year older.  Its a real blessing to keep counting our days.  Age ain't nothing but a number, and a state of mind they say. I might add, its a math problem also. No matter how old we are, the important thing is how we count our days, what we do with them. How we choose to stimulate our mind and body.  I agree wholeheartedly with that. I feel the same today mentally as I did when I was in high school. In my head I am still that young person I always knew. I still feed myself the same mental thoughts. Its true my body has changed and my physical ability has decreased. But I am a mental giant. I am certainly no less intelligent but the more so. The older we get studies have found that our brain actually grow. Did you know that? We can not  allow our age or the older we get to become a stigma. Our mind plays a vital role in everything.  We become what we think we are. What can we do to experience the true beauty of aging?  We need to maintain or increase the functional activity of our mind and body. This is what keeps our intelligence sharp. Up until now no doubt we had a family to care for , perhaps a job or something. Functional activity of the mind and the body came by force.  We had to make quick decisions and sometimes not so quick. We had places to go, things to do, people to see. Now it no longer happens that way. We have to go seek it out. The kids have grown and the job is behind us. And  we need to keep going. Our brain is like a muscle, when its worked it stays strong.  We can't lose interest in the world and the living. If we do our body and mind will pay for it. Our quality of our life will erode greatly. Now is the time for a new enrichment so to speak. To seek out the things of interest to you. Pick a new hobby. Take up gardening. Get a pet. Stay connected with people. They don't have to be familiar to you, just human.  Animals are good companions, but they cant appreciate our intelligence. Share the wisdom you have acquired with others every chance you get. Let them see you are over fifty and extraordinary. So don't slow down, keep on moving ,don't stop!!  Remember, life is 10 percent of what happens to you and 90 percent of how you react to it. Getting older is only part  of  the 10 percent of what happens. That being the case, let's do it with grace!!!

Monday, November 3, 2014

Being Resilient !


 Hello my over 50's, today I'd like to blog about resilience. That word in itself is not a word  we stop and think about specifically or even often. But by the time we have gotten over fifty, we either have acquired or have not  acquired this quality of resilience. Our being resilient will be present for others to see and easily observed throughout trying times. It will become the label we are recognized by. She has a resilient nature, it may be said of you. Life hasn't  always been a bowl of cherries and it will continue to give us some  pits until the end of it.  As individuals we have  been through many hardships and have suffered many set backs stemming from a death of a loved one, an illness of self or another, a divorce, a financial need, loss of home or other material possession. Just one set back after another. Like the saying goes, its always something! Or if it ain't  one thing its three more. We were born with a certain degree of resilience by nature. Mankind was instilled with the power of recovery to a certain extent.  Within us is that natural ability to throw off trouble. You can recall how a child bounces back quickly or easily from what seems to us as impossible adversity. This is a wonderful quality. You heard it said that what doesn't kill us makes a stronger. That's resilience in motion.  This quality of resilience is so beneficial for us to maintain.  Being  resilient has a lot of hidden benefits such as it promotes our very own longevity. Helps us to be cheerful,  shows our inner strength and even fights off disease. How so?! Well being resilient decreases our stress levels, our attitude is more positive there by warding off sickness and disease. As a result this is a quality we need to work on or improve at this stage of our life. One motivational speaker made this statement: "If you are going through hell, keep going!" In time you will get through it, there will be light at the end of the tunnel and you will see it. So let us develop this quality in a fuller measure. To be resilient is an extraordinary quality to possess. It all starts with our mind. Making the needed adjustments and continuing on in the forward march. Yes, we are not fifty and extraordinary for nothing.  These are credentials we have fully earned through the blood sweat and tears that came with it.We are strong, we are invincible, we are resilient!! I hope you enjoyed this blog, please share what you think!

Saturday, November 1, 2014

For Your Entertainment !!



Hello my Over 50's!  I hope this day finds you in an exquisite mood! I came across this adorable video of these African children dancing. I love how they really seem to be enjoying themselves. So instead of the normal topics of discussion, I thought I would share something entertaining. Something that would likely bring a smile to your face. I hope you enjoy this brief video as much as I have. This is something I will have to put on my bucket list. To learn to move like this and have as much fun. But the good we can take from this is dancing is a good way  to  to stay fit and trim and you get a lot of other benefits also. And its so much fun doing it. So in the words of  Le Anne: " If you have the chance to sit or dance, I HOPE YOU DANCE!!!".