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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Adult Children

Who are these guys?!?! No, who do they think they are?!  And why do they keep calling me Mom?! If so, what happen to the beautiful little loving and adorable creatures they once were?!  Oh, bring back my yesterday, somebody pleeze!  Once our children become adults these are questions we cant help but ask ourselves. Oh they think they have a new role, called parents to us. We need to keep reminding them that at the time of our birth, they were not present. Parenthood, first time, a joy such as never before. I remember  being told its a whole new level of love. It will change your life. No truer words has ever been spoken.  It has changed my life and I think its still trying. Our adult children, in spite of the transitions we have watched them through, they still mean the world to us. When we reflect back to the day they were bought home from the hospital, brand new, so needy, so tiny, it seemed as though they would be babies forever. We even hoped they would. Those sleepless nights seemed unending.  But we were determined to meet every demand no matter the cost physically, mentally and emotionally we had to bear as parents. Nothing was more important than that child.  And we did, we loved and nurtured and we sacrificed, we taught and we trained and we supported, we waited patiently for everything we needed back for years and years until they one day became these adult people or even young parents themselves. We even  made them marketable subjects to society. After all this, they still  think we still owe them something. WHO ARE THESE GUYS?? Oh let me get a grip!! I know, I know, precious they still are and they will remain the loves of our lives forever. But I got a question, the same question they use to ask us over and over again: Are we there yet?!? Aren't we done?  There is a reality check in order due here.  They need to be put in their place, not as babes, but as the mature adults they have become.  We need to enjoy them as adults , the same way we did as infants or children. Of course we need to respect them as adults and not treat them like children or try to run or control their lives. It works both ways.  But I feel there is only one way to do this.  They need to be informed affirmatively. What we owe them when they were minors, we no longer owe them as adults.  If they are to grow into extraordinary people, we need to be solid role models or mentors. We need to be firm in insisting on them accepting their new roles or obligations. We can't let them make us feel like their responsibility is ours. Its not. We need to get back the love we had at first when we first met them as infants. Its possible, after all , they are the fruit of our loins!!!!